Nexus Conference Planning Meeting, 2/15/01, NYC
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We met to discuss how the next Nexus EQ Conference could best serve the emotional intelligence movement; people from many different organizations and sectors were invited to help continue the process of building collaboration. The Center for Social Emotional Education hosted the meeting. This is an expansion of my notes, not a verbatim transcript. In addition to planning the next Nexus EQ Conference, it is my hope that these notes will benefit the larger EQ community & those planning learning experiences. -- Josh Freedman
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Jonathan Cohen, cofounder of CSEE, assoc. prof @ Columbia teachers’ college, NY.
Lea Brovidani, EQ consultant, Sagacity Consulting, Nova Scotia
Robin Stern, EQ educator, CSEE+, NY
Fred Stern, EQ educator, CSEE, NY
Bob Hanson, publisher of education books & videos, Natl. Prof. Resources, NY
Barbara Muller Ackerman, school counselor, Elementary School chair, American School Counselor Assoc.
Joshua Freedman, Nexus 2000 coordinator, Dir. Programs for Six Seconds, SF
Caleb Jensen, Director, Oyster Arts, art program to break cycle of domestic violence, NY
Anabel Jensen, President, Six Seconds; Prof of education, College of Notre Dame; SF
Lauren Nickerson, CSEE, NY
Jennifer Soloway, School Principal, CSEE, NY
Mickey Seligson, Center for Research on Women, Wellsely -- running program to promote EQ for after school/parent ed.
By Phone
Pam Smith, American Express Financial Advisors University
Chuck Wolfe, consultant & trainer, Chuck Wolf & Assoc.
Geetu Orme, Ei (UK)
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Think about an experience where you learned an important lesson about your own EQ, or increased your EQ meaningfully. What was that like? What structures or mechanisms were in place so you could have that experience?
What did it feel like --
- afraid of doing damage
- scared
- out of normal
- shift from anger
- emotional event
- recognition of self
- safe
- sense of discovery
- freedom
- transformative
- taking ownership, connecting to self
- got past anger
- nonjudgmental
- fully supported
- facing of fear
- I could make a mistake
- difficulty w. feeling of not knowing
What was present to make it happen --
- trust
- people in process with me
- opportunity to reflect & question
- someone did not just ignore
- honesty
- anger no longer present
- clarity about real purpose & real feelings
- space to just stop
- nondefensive
- mutual commitment ruthless honesty
- relationships over time, shared experience
- freedom to be confused
- basic foundation of caring
- persistent consistent autonomous moments to reflect
- raising of difficult issues, opportunity to talk
- welcoming, flowers, attention to detail
- really listening to me & my irritation
- reflective silence
- activity based
- multisensory
- guest speakers, hearing lots of stories
- integration body & mind
- permission to make mistakes
- forgiveness
- context of shared knowledge, shared purpose
- modeling of risk taking
- present as a learner
- setting of being together; a space set aside
- asking the right question is critical -- welcoming questions
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Josh F -- From the outset, we said we did not just want to do a conference about emotional intelligence -- we do not need more blah blah blah. If we can even capture 25% of this list we made and have that present @ Nexus, we will be successful -- so let’s hold onto that as we consider what we want this conference to do and be.
Mickey S -- I see a major challenge as bringing EQ to people who are not already in the choir. Conference could be venue for how-to address challenges like this, challenges we face as EQ leaders.
Jon C -- Another is, "how do we have a larger impact nationally?"
Josh F -- Along those lines, what do you all see as the present need? What is the need for the EQ movement that is not being met by existing groups & events?
Barb MA -- Schools are being mandated to include character education; they need to report how those funds were being used to promote character ed. Need to make people aware that this funding is present, and that there are more programs out there -- likewise, program people need to know what states have money!
Bob H --
1. many people are not aware of what funds & programs are out there.
2. stakeholders need to be present -- for example, many conferences talk about diversity but the conference ends up as a non diverse group.
3. Look at the current trends and why those are happening. For example, home schooling is fastest growing natl. movement… why are these parents feeling need to pull their kids out?
Robin S -- also include third education spaces -- places where ed happens for families… museums, after school programs, bookstores, play spaces, etc that are part of lives of families & children.
Jon C --
1. to reach people who are not already interested, empirical data is critical. CASEL is working hard to collect that. The data only goes so far, yet it is important.
2. There is now a lot of character ed $ coming into states. Many of the character ed programs are very simplistic. Other programs, like Eric Shapps’, are identifying themselves as character ed, but have depth & complexity of a SEL (social-emotional learning) program.
We can look at these funds and how to support schools using them -- for instance, New Jersey schools can use existing character ed. programs or submit a 3-yr plan for their own.
3. Organize info and help teachers integrate good SEL practices into existing programs. Facing History, RCCP, CSEE, have all done work integrating SEL into academic curricula… using organizing principles on how to integrate.
4. How can we partner w. existing school reform networks, such as Coalition of Essential Schools, who are working w. Depts. of Ed. & other key partners -- how do we compliment & or build on existing networks
5. Many of the schools contacting us b.c. kids @ bottom 30% of class are struggling hard -- kids at risk is opportunity to get this work into schools.
Robin S. -- there are many sources of funding that people do not know about. Tie w. counseling…and major RFPs for violence prevention funding -- important need for sharing info & collaborating for $ & effectiveness.
Opportunity to use technology -- e.g. using templates to integrate SEL into academic subjects.
Barb MA -- Orange County Florida has already created lessons tied to standards… lots of this work has been done, and challenge is to find it, adapt it, & modify it… and not keep reinventing the wheel.
Jon C -- this is a clear example of what Robin was saying -- b.c. I did not know about these… and we need to share them!
Jennifer S -- major issue is climate for change. We are here together w. a shared mind… if we really want fundamental, meaningful, organic change, we need to identify mechanisms for people who are not in the choir to sing. Networking w. people who already buy-in does not necessarily get us to people who do not believe… what are critical factors for creating social & emotional change? For example, in my context we need to look at issues like: How do adults talk to one another? How can people understanding that certain behaviors do not work in the vision of the community? We need a vision of community… Need to go much deeper than "what am I going to teach in my history class…"
Jon C -- these are complimentary -- Jennifer is talking about how do we do this, and that happens along w. knowing what specific skills are needed….
Mickey S -- change can only happen w. this hard groundwork. It is a long haul.
Jennifer S -- I agree, the groundwork does not preclude the other.
Robin S -- Likewise, need a process to USE the technology, to USE the "skillsets" -- it goes beyond just creating technology.
Pam S -- I have attended lots of EQ in the workplace conferences… people are looking for WHAT TO DO. People love "high level" discussion, and then they want to walk away w. tools of what to do. For example, people are not getting the self-leadership skills they need in school… and now they are hungry for how to figure out what to do.
Mickey S -- How do we share these tools w.o. "giving away the store" since we have to make a living teaching these tools?
Pam S -- I share specifically the scope of what we teach, and share some examples.
Anabel J -- and the key to this is how to transfer those skills to real life -- people have a hard time transferring.
Chuck W -- The conferences I have attended seem to have an extremely broad definition of emotional intelligence. In our trainings, using the Salovey-Mayer model works well. Also, a lot of what I have seen at EQ conference is just repacked old stuff & really superficial…but the Mayer-Salovey definition is unique b.c. it allows feeling to part of solutions. For example, it is powerful to ask, "what feeling would be the best feeling for the situation?" or "what feeling do we want to create?"
In terms of Mickey’s question, I do not worry that people will learn so much that they will not need me; the more I teach & give away, the more they seem to want…
I would like to see a conference w. a very specific theme… How do we use emotion? How do we identify it? How do we transform our emotion? Have "beginning" to "advanced" sessions w. in this theme.
About museums -- we do training in a museum, and use museum experience as part of training… and people get a year membership…very powerful connection.
Is there a model we agree on?
Are there some themes we can have real depth on?
Geetu O -- I see 3 fundamental needs:
1. sharing practice. Programs, school work, corporate work. Including sharing actual examples, sharing notes, how does this spread into community?
2. Support. Supporting each other in the community we are in; building network of people who share this work.
3. Commercial. How do we connect people who are doing programs w. people who want to buy those services?
Lea B -- one of things I liked about Nexus is that it was very inclusive… represented different countries & different sectors. Different countries have different needs & ways of doing this.
What is the vision for this conference? Having it be an emotionally intelligent conference, making it accessible, and it is important that someone keep holding a world vision of EQ. Moving Nexus around the globe might help that -- I would like to do the next conference in Halifax.
Jon C -- There are some real advantages to doing this in other countries. I recently was at Vancouver conference, 600-1200 people there… b.c. they held it on a national teacher training day! In US training days are very ad-hoc… in other counties there are some more broadly shared days.
Barb MA -- One obstacle is that increasingly US school districts will only send staff if CEUs are available…
Josh F -- Does a conference have to be in the US for that to happen? Do we have a national CEU, or just state by state?
Barb & Bob -- some of national orgs. do provide CEUs, such as American Counselling Assoc.
Fred S -- if we want to build an emotionally intelligent conference, we need to ensure that we are starting by being emotionally intelligence in this process. Maybe we need some more of that now… let’s shift gears a bit, maybe do some pair sharing?
Barb MA -- And if it will be an emotionally intelligent experience, it is important to communicate this unique experience, what it will feel like, as part of marketing it.
Jon C -- I appreciate Fred’s awareness of the group right now, and the group’s emotional feeling. It brings up the point that people react to emotional awarness in different ways -- people "like us" seem to appreciate & enjoy working w. emotions… whereas others have may have different interest & abilities. Some people want more "experience" some want less…
Chuck W -- I want to get back to "what do we mean by emotional intelligence?" And what is vision of the conference? Did Josh share that?
Josh F -- I deliberately did not. While I have my own ideas, what is most important to me is that this conference is a way to bring together the various groups and and organizations promoting EQ -- that is become truly a shared creation, and that we begin to build some real momentum as a movement. So I would rather hear from you what is most important for this conference.
Robin S -- How do I be that change agent? How do I be the master teacher? How do we translate conference experience into practice?
Anabel J -- Which is one of the big struggles of the first conference -- we had all these projects start, but not follow through…making projects happen, or having visible results would be very powerful.
Jon C -- An outcome I’d like to see is, "How do we make EQ part of organic school life?"
Mickey S -- it also may be that a conference can do some things, but not others. Maybe this experience is a way for all these people coming together.
Robin S -- These goals may be served by creating a multipart conference -- one year is about starting collaboration, another about following up on actions and goal setting…
Jennifer S -- Maybe I should already know this, but who is the audience of this conference?
Josh F -- We defined it very broadly as change agent from all kinds of sectors. Hard to market to, but important.
Anabel J -- That includes educators, business people, government people like police officers and mayors, health care workers…
Lauren N -- my experience in conference is that people need lots of follow-up, and not just academic, not just the website…they call and want to know how to do the things they heard about in the conference.
Barb MA -- Part of that is a process of exchanging -- we used the conference as a starting point for a reciprocal relationship, we came there, and this summer Six Seconds is coming to our ASCA conference… there is an ongoing exchange of practical how-to started at the conference.
Jon C -- To get back to Chuck’s question -- maybe one thing that can happen @ the conference is framing a panel to explore these definitions… not to show "am I right," but to explore what is useful, and how different definitions & models serve different needs.
Robin S -- That could include an in depth talk on intelligence, and then on emotion, and then on these together…
Chuck W -- It sounds like there a many pieces that could come into this conference, some of which are applications of emotional intelligence. One approach to creating inclusivity w.o. losing focus, would be to pick a theme such as "Managing Emotions" -- which allows different structures come in… or to capture a specific defintion. Another interesting theme you talked about earlier was curriculum for emotional intelligence @ different levels.
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Josh F -- What outcomes do you personally want from the conference, from your involvement? What is the scope you’d like to see -- national? International? Education? Change agents? And, what would you like to do next?
Anabel J -- outcome: I want to a conference that will be part of my own noble goal which includes spreading both compassion & accountability.
Jon C-- scope: I enjoyed broadness of 1st meeting -- international, merging of biz & education. I would like to see even more of a dialogue there.
Outcomes: how do we support the ongoing vital network so people can be teachers & learners together… how do we get the momentum of conference to continue…
The electronic collaboration piece seems challenging, CASEL does some driven by Maurice Elias, Six Seconds does some driven by Josh. The ASCA Elementary Counselors discussion group that Barb shared seems to be very collaborative -- what can we learn from that? Another collaborative example is the way teachers in Japan share curriculum -- regularly, individual teachers share lessons in safe setting, and people can be teachers & learners together.
Barb MA -- in our ASCA conferences the most successful sessions are level sharing, where everybody comes w. activity & shares it; they each bring a physical copy… and then everyone walks away w. big packet. Recently we put them up on web as database of lessons…
Lauren N -- outcome: how do we create projects that people will sustain; how do we create balance; how do we do the social problem solving of both maintaining + limiting participation.
Mickey S -- scope: I really enjoyed diversity of conference, biz, ed, global was very powerful & getting w. people I did not know.
How about creating small groups by mixed practice areas & within practice areas to reflect, come back… the mixed group would be pre-assigned, maybe w. a facilitator -- this is a reflection group. The practice area group could be more action oriented, future projects -- create real relatedness in group, and clear purpose of why to do project.
Robin S -- I agree that a process group meeting regularly through the conference is very powerful. The project (application) group meet @ beginning & end.
Jon C -- if there is follow-up, people need to see benefit of those results. And someone needs to be spending a fair amount of time to make that happen.
Barb MA -- The follow-up can lead to amazing results… for example, from the ASCA email discussion, we now have mentorships developing where people are emailing in from around the country & world asking to be mentees…so it is getting past the leadership group and now into people actually doing it. My purpose is networking people who have something to share.
Robin S -- it has been powerful to use media -- reacting to a show, a movie… creates a shared experience. For example, we could show EQ leaders "All In the Family" as a model of dysfunction… no one on the show is upset about the dysfunction, and we laugh and the cycle continues. If we can face it, we build the awareness that we are making these choices…
Jennifer S -- these unaware behaviors are so permeated -- I see it in my school, for example -- and while we do not tolerate the big examples, the small ones are just accepted and ignored.
Anabel J -- scope: I want to reach change agents who will leave and make a difference -- I don’t care if they are educators of police officers, I want to see them go out and do this work.
Jon C -- what do we want them do when they leave? Concretely -- at the dinner table, in the classroom…
Fred S -- and what is their message, what do they want to do? From the Peck workshops, one outcome I learned is not wanting to "fix" them, "fix" the world.
Lea B -- it is like Gandhi’s "be the change you want to see in the world" -- not so much about making people do something, but doing it yourself.
Mickey S -- in a conference where there is enough richness, people can find where they are and develop goal for themselves…they can find the space that is right for them.
Jennifer S -- I understand Chuck’s desire to narrow the focus, and I also see that Mickey’s vision is of broadening the scope so people can take what they need to go to their own next steps…
Jon C -- So maybe we want them to walk out knowing more about what they want to do…
These "open" kinds of meetings have tended to result in a smaller draw -- big draws take a simple problem & commit to provide an answer, even if it is simplistic. But maybe we want to look more deeply @ where we are, what’s working, and what we want to do next…
Jennifer S -- and people come needing different things. Some want very specific "what to do," and others want the big picture…
Barb MA -- which is one of the good things about the 1st Nexus, where people could select what they wanted to get…some people really came for personal growth, some for business, and they could get both what they wanted and what their employer wanted them to get.
Mickey S -- and what I most value in any conference is connecting w. people… not so much the sessions & speakers, but in the in-between.
Lea B -- I would like to see this happen in Halifax… and am willing to do that groundwork. The scope that matters to me is getting the change agents active, it does not matter what sector.
Caleb J -- I really want to see the problem solving, and sharing the passion -- today I have seen that your honesty & passion creates some clarity, and other people can take it away w. them… it has to be practical, and they need to see how these skills will be used & function in daily life. Our own examples seem like a good way to share that practicality -- sharing our personal conquests, our personal learning, that will spread this great work that you are doing.
Josh F -- My plan now is to send these notes back out, and to do the same at the San Francisco meeting -- which you are all welcome to attend in person or on the phone. And then we need to make some decisions:
- what will this conference look like?
- Do we want to do it?
- How do we each want to be involved.
As Anabel mentioned, we have a practical issue of raising money -- I think the next conference is likely to break even, but we need the capital to do it.
I personally have learned a lot today, and am confident that what we did this morning will benefit our work -- Thank you!
Anabel J -- It is clear to me that we could create an incredible conference just with the people in this room. Thank you for being here.
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Meeting Agenda:
- how can Nexus best serve the EQ movement while maintaining the
commitment to inclusion, practicality, and cross-sector collaboration?
- what theme / threads shall we choose?
- who would we like to speak?
- do we want more panels, roundtables, facilitated discussions, or
other forums focused on dialogue?
- how can we build on / sustain the energy of the event now and afterwards?
- what people and organizations will be willing to make the event happen?
Goals:
- increase partnership and collaboration for nexus to be a shared
event, and for all of us to increase our collaboration.
- build up energy for event and help ensure that it will happen in 2002.
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